Tipping Guide

Ever wonder how much you should give the pizza guy? Here is a fair and balanced way to decide.

Start off with 10% of the order. This is what you give a guy who shows up right on time who is not terribly polite.
If the guy is 10 or more minutes early, or is really polite and helpful, make it 20%.
If the guy is 15 or more minutes late give him nothing, he obviously didn't try.
If it is raining hard, make the tip a minimum of a dollar assuming he is on time.
If it is snowy or icy, give him an extra 5% on top of whatever else he has earned.

This is really important. Never, and I mean never, give the poor guy the next dollar if it is anything less than $.50, that is just insulting. It is actually better to stiff the guy than to give him a few cents, on the theory that you just didn't want to bother with the change, that he didn't actually earn it.

Traditions and difficulties

It is traditional to turn on the porch light when you call for pizza after dark. It is also common sense, seeing as it iondicates you expect someone to be able to see his way to your door, without killing himself tumbling all over your childrens junk.

Also, most major pizza places require you to order parmasan cheese and crushed red peppers when you order the rest of your food. They also specifically do not allow drivers to carry "chz n pprs" in their cars or on their persons. cheese is expensive. it also is a bad idea to leave cheese in a car which can reach 100+ degrees in the summer.

"I didn't think you were comin' back."

I hate customers. Last night I had a delivery with total $21.55. This guy hands me $40.55 and tells me he only wants $19 back. I hand him all the cash on me, total $13, and tell him I'll be right back with the last $6. He asks where his cheese and peppers are. He didn't order cheese and peppers, so I tell him so. He tells me he did and to bring him some. I leave, get change and cheese and peppers, and go back. He answers the door and tells me he didn't think I was coming back. He takes the stuff and hands me $1 "For your troubles." I hate customers.